Allergic to love
by Papillon94
Summary: Natalie Shepard has faced numerous challenges over her life, and numerous difficult decisions. But can she work up the courage to ask the quarian she loves if she shares her feelings?


Natalie Shepard lay down in her bed, unable to sleep. She knew she had to, there wasn't any sense in investigating an abandoned Reaper running solely off of caffeine, but she couldn't seem to straighten out her thoughts. She'd feel it was justified if it were about the mission, about the danger in even going near one of those behemoths, no matter how dead it may be, about what lay beyond the Omega 4 Relay, about what to do when the Reapers showed up. Those were reasonable concerns, and anyone could understand losing sleep over them.

But those weren't the subject of her dreams. She was only thinking about Tali, the girl she had a crush on, if girl was the term one used for a quarian. She couldn't stop thinking about her delicate touch, her kind voice, her wonderful humor and incredible shyness that had won Natalie over a thousand times before. She wasn't bothered by the end of the world, but by her own feelings, and that frightened her.

Natalie swung her legs over the side of the bed, deciding to take her mind off of things by chatting with Kenneth and Gabby. The two were always fun to talk to, and perhaps she could win a few more credits off of them. She slipped her heavily pocketed shorts on and strolled into the elevator, waving a hand over the display marked "Engineering."

Upon reaching the engine room however, she was met with the very object of her thought. Tali stood there, quietly adjusting some minor figures on the haptic interface. She turned at the noise of the door closing. "Oh, Shepard. I didn't expect to see you down here." She quickly got back to her adjustments. Natalie took up a post on the other side of the room and began adjusting various output figures, compensating for minor calibration errors that happened over time. As she finished the adjustments, she felt Tali looking at her. When she glanced over, the young quarian quickly turned away, blushing even through her helmet.

"So," Shepard began. "How are you holding up?"

Tali sighed. "It still hurts Shepard. Sometimes I feel like I have no one to turn to, with my mother and father gone. But then I turn to you, always willing to listen." She quickly turned back to her panel again. "Even when I'm rambling like now."

Shepard giggled. "I like it when you ramble, it's cute."

Natalie suddenly pieced her thoughts together. Tali's nervousness around her as of late, her concern for her wellbeing after missions, and Kelly's "More than just friends" comment crashed together in her mind with such a dawning light that she couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Wow, I really am clueless, aren't I?"

Tali perked her head up, and asked quizzically, "Shepard?"

Natalie strode over to Tali and placed her forehead against her helmet, still laughing at her own obliviousness. "All this time I was so worried about how you'd react if I said this, and you've been worrying the same thing. Tali, I love you." She embraced the quarian, tears of laughter streaming down her cheeks.

Tali herself started laughing at the same time. "We've both so oblivious aren't we?" They leaned into each other for support. "Oh, it feels good to get that off of my chest. I've been so worried, ever since we've met." The both of them sat down against the wall, still giggling slightly.

Shepard stood up and stretched. "Whoo, wasn't that hilarious? Two people in love, completely paralyzed by it." She ran a hand through her red hair, mentally berating herself for her own cluelessness. She held out a hand to pull Tali up. "Lets talk in my room, it's more comfortable than sitting here in engineering, and Gabby should be taking over soon, right?"

Tali nodded. "Uh, yeah. She is." She tentatively clasped Natalie's hand in her own. Natalie blushed slightly, savoring the contact before leading to the elevator. The two were silent during the ride up, lost in their own thoughts. The doors opened with the faintest whisper Natalie lead Tali inside, and sat her down on her bed, reaching over to disable the various bugs Cerberus had installed to watch her. She didn't mind them for the most part, but she wasn't going to let this end up in some archive for them to use against her.

She sat down next to Tali, nervous. She had no idea how quarians were intimate, and she didn't want to offend Tali by doing anything rash or waiting too long. She reached down and clasped Tali's hand in her own, the familiar gesture comforting. "So." She said, steeling herself. "You mentioned linking suit environments at one point. I'm curious, how would that work?"

Tali looked down, embarrassed. "Oh, it's not that exciting. Basically two quarians, o-or other people, connect their suits internal life supports into one unit, sh-sharing air and the like. It-it's really the risk that makes it what it is. Because of our immune system, there's a chance one or the other could overreact a-and get sick." She shuffled slightly. "It's a real show of trust, a-and..." She stuttered, stumbling over her worlds. "And I'd like to do it with you!" She blurted out. She started sobbing and leaned against Natalie.

Natalie caressed her gently, shushing her gently. "It's all right, it's all right. I know, you're scared. I'm scared too, I don't want to lose you because of my folly." She closed her eyes, her head leaning against the smaller woman's hood. "But...I think we should."

Tali looked up at her, surprised. "R-really? But what about..."

"To hell with the risks. Life always has risks, you and I are living proof of that." She placed her forehead where she imagined Tali's would be behind her mask. "But we take these risks out of love, that's why we fight, and that's why I'm willing to risk losing you to show you I believe in your strength. But I'd understand it you don't want to. We're not only different species, we have different base protein sequences!" She laughed to herself. "We're about as foreign as can be, but I love you, and I've loved you since the moment we've met."

"Shepard..."

"Not Shepard to you Tali. Natalie, just Natalie." She planted a kiss on her mask, leaving a mark which Tali tried to rub away, embarrassed. Natalie laughed, breaking the tension somewhat. "So, shall I get into my suit?"

Before Tali could respond, Natalie lifted her tank top over her head, and threw it at her, giggling. Tali seemed stunned, completely silent, her head tilted slightly, admiring Natalie's figure. What Natalie lacked in "assets" she made up for in sheer charisma, moving with a grace and certainty one wouldn't expect from a soldier, especially one who'd been dead for a few years. She quickly stripped down to nothing, then moved over to where her suit hung and slipped it on, the skin-tight polymers cool against her skin. She slipped the helmet over her head and nodded to Tali. "So, how does this work?"

Tali started, as if coming out of a trance. "Huh...Oh. Well, let me see..." She stood behind Natalie and began fiddling with the suit's back panel, looking for the standard external connection port. She found it, and slowly placed her hand on it, the gravity of the situation still heavy in her mind. _No turning back._ She thought to herself, and pulled the port out, extending it a few inches from Natalie's back. She flipped open the same port on the back of her suit, and sat, back to back with Natalie. The ports locked, and her life support fluid flowed into Natalie's suit environment.

The first thing that caught Natalie's attention was the feel of the fluid. It was warm from Tali's body heat, and it tingled against her skin. As it rose over her head and filled her lungs, she found she could hear Tali's heartbeat through the fluid. The fluttering beat was faster than her own, partially out of nervousness, partially out of their difference in biology. Natalie clasped the young quarians hand in her own, giving her a reassuring squeeze. Suddenly she felt slightly sick, a wave of nausea slamming into her gut. She found herself coughing heavily, the clear fluid turning cloudy with blood.

Tali noticed what was happening and quickly yanked on a lever on the back of her suit, disconnecting the two suit environments. She half dragged, half escorted Natalie to the bathroom and yanked the helmet off of her head in the shower, the viscous fluid pouring out of it. Shepard fell to her knees, coughing violently, expelling the fluid from her lungs. She yanked on the zipper of her suit and law sprawled on the polished metal, breathing heavily, the cold water spraying off the last of the fluid from her body. "Well..." She wheezed, her voice hoarse, "I guess your life support and my life don't get along too well."

Tali fell to her knee's, weeping. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry I didn't know I didn't-"

"Sh sh sh. It's all right." Natalie smiled at her, the color returning to her face. "I'm fine, nothing a bit of medigel won't fix up." She lifted herself up onto her elbows, grunting at the pain in her abdomen. "Just...help me up will you?" Tali clasped her elbow and helped her stand again, guiding her to her bed where she sprawled across the covers, limbs feeling like lead.

Tali sat down next to her, still nervous. "Are you sure you're all right? I could get Mordin up here to check on you."

Natalie waved her off. "I'll be fine, I'll be fine. I just need to sleep is all." She sighed, and patted Tali's tight reassuringly. "Sorry I ruined your night. Didn't see that one coming." She laughed, and coughed again.

Tali shook her head. "Don't worry about me, you're the one who nearly died." She pressed her fingers against the locks on her helmet, removing the large sheet of clear plastic and leaned over Natalie, kissing her passionately. Natalie initially started, then relaxed, grabbing Tali around the waist and pulling her closer. "M-maybe we can try this again sometime. Without your lungs collapsing, hopefully." The two giggled, and Tali curled up next to Natalie, pulling her visor back over her face. Natalie smiled, in pain but content. She lay her head on Tali's chest, listening for the heartbeat she had heard before. The pulse of her lover.


End file.
